Be Fearless!

Yes, I know that we are living during difficult times. I hear the same news you do. But I want to let you know that you have a choice – choices.
It may not seem like you have choices – but you do.

You may ask, “Do I control the rise in cost in rent, gasoline, food?” “Can I give myself a salary, find a job that pays what I am worth?” “Can I control the news?”

No, of course you can’t. What you can do though is decide how to respond to all the negativity surrounding you. You can choose to respond without fear.

It may seem a strange thing to suggest, but one thing you can do is start giving and sharing. Here are some ideas:

1. Go through your closet and drawers and decide what you really do not need and give it away. Give it to Goodwill or a local charity. There are so many in need that perhaps those shoes you never wear could be just what someone is looking for. It will feel good to clean out and share with others.

2. Give your time. Yes, you may be out of work or working 2 jobs. But trust me when I suggest giving of your time. Find something that you truly believe in – maybe going to an animal shelter or a senior center or a food bank – and volunteer your time. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time – maybe just an hour a week. Giving the gift of yourself is something that will bring joy to you and those you share with. And when you are busy giving your time by volunteering, I almost guarantee you will not be in fear thinking.

3. Share pleasant talk rather than negative. It is so easy to focus on the negative, which only reinforces the feeling of doom and gloom. Rather, when you get together with a friend, co-worker, family member, and talking about all the negative news, switch the talk to something positive. Before your meeting start searching for fun things to share. This will have you looking around for the lighter/humorous things in life. Believe me, when you start looking for fun things to share, they will start popping out at you. Maybe even set up in advance of your meeting that you are doing this and challenge your meeting partner to also look for fun things to share.
This may sound dumb, but where laughter is healing – negative talk breeds illness. It’s a choice – it always a choice. When we focus on negativity we are focusing on fear.

In light of this, I highly suggest the book, Fearless Living by Rhonda Britten. I am a facilitator of this book and will be starting a phone group in the spring. The cost will be $25 for 10 weeks. All you will need is the book and a telephone – which means it does not matter what part of the world you live in. If you are interested in this amazing process of learning to live life without fear just email me at judith@wiseheartcoaching.com and I will let you know when the class will begin and how to register. You will be amazed at how wonderful life can be when it is lived fearlessly.

Blessings, Judith Auslander

Popularity: 8% [?]

by Judith Auslander, MA, CLC
Wise Heart Coaching

Happy 2009!

Another year with new goals, “This year I am going to do…”  With great resolution we set out toward this bright new future. And then slowly (or maybe more rapidly) we start to lose sight of our goal. How long does it take before it (they) starts to dwindle away? Is it 6 months or more like 6 weeks, or maybe even 6 days? As humans we like to set goals – this is a good thing. The problem starts when we only touch on these goals and then slowly, slowly, slowly we start to let the goal drift away until it is only a memory or something we “wanted” to do but never quite made it to the end. Is this something to be upset about? No – it is part of being human. We need goals. Without them, we wouldn’t even get up in the morning – what would be the reason?  However, it is when we set goals that we really, really want to accomplish and then we don’t meet them year after year that life can lose some of its meaning, its satisfaction and we start to feel as if it is “too late!”  “I should have done _____.”

First suggestion, don’t “should” on yourself. 

My second suggestion, start doing whatever it is (was) that you wanted to do. Too late?  Hmm…, I am not sure that one is ever really “too late.”  I have to look at a friend of mine as part of my inspiration on this.  She is one who never says she is too old or it is too late. She is going to be 60 this year and is starting a second master’s degree. She is not wealthy, and has to watch her spending carefully. Yes, she is concerned about tomorrow – but not concerned enough to let her stop living the life she wants. Who is this person?  She could be you just as easily as she could be me.  Can you see yourself doing something like going back to school – or maybe starting school for the first time?  How about starting a new job or a business?  What’s stopping you from achieving your dreams? 

Are you setting goals that you aren’t meeting?  Coaching can help you remember those lost values and goals, and then coaching can help you start achieving those dreams.  Dreams are only that unless you start making them real. What would it be like to get your dreams off of Someday Island and onto the Road to Success!

How do you go about making your goals come true? You can start by reading my book which is based on my very successful class on goal setting.  Please go to my website and download a free excerpt of my book or download the entire book for only $9.95.  This is a workbook which will have you reaching your dreams in no time. Yes, it will take work – but oh the fun of reaching that goal!!!!

PS. Please be sure to read below about a wonderful way to recycle your holiday cards.

Wise Heart Coaching truly wishes you a most wonderful and authentic 2009! 

- Judith Auslander, Wise Heart Coaching

 Holiday Greeting Card Recycing Tip

What do you do with all those beautiful holiday cards you received?  Some people save them, but most go into recycling.  Here is a great idea!

• Send your used cards to St. Jude’s Ranch, which serves to help heal and care for abused, abandoned and neglected children. Kids at the ranch earn money by designing new cards out of old ones. Send to:

St Jude’s Card Recycling
100 St. Jude Street
P.O. Box 60100
Boulder City, NV 89006
http://www.stjudesranch.org/help_card.php

Popularity: 13% [?]

Stop Limiting Yourself!
By Judith Auslander
Wise Heart Coaching (http://www.WiseHeartCoaching.com)

This is a message I recently received from The Universe:

“You needn’t worry. There is time. You have all the time in the world. You preceded time and you will exist beyond it. Age is irrelevant; more meaningless than a number. Forever, Judith, you have FOREVER. There is no dream you now have
that you will not manifest. There is no challenge you now face that you will not crush and dispose of. There is no point in spending one more second of your awesome, amazing life, thinking anything to the contrary. Olé, The Universe”

If you haven’t heard of The Universe, it is an online service in which you will receive an inspirational message each day. (It can be reached at http://www.tut.com/)

Why have I thought it is important to share this message? Simple! We allow age to stop us from living life every day to its fullest. I want you to take a second and think how many times you stop yourself from doing something because you say, “I am too old for that!” How limiting!

I believe that there are certain words that must be eliminated from our vocabulary – and the sentence “I am too old!” must be eliminated. It is as if you cut off your legs and try to walk. Why do we do that to ourselves? Who told us we were “too old?” That person must be eliminated from our lives – they are not our friend.

What do you “wish” you could do? What would you do if age were not relevant? Would you go back to school? Would you learn to fly an airplane? Would you travel Europe using Hostels instead of hotels? Would you start your own business?

How do you limit yourself? Are there ways you can do the things you want to do in life? Be creative – you are never too old until you decide you are too old.

What if we live to 105 – then mid life is just 57! My cousin was 65 when she went to school for the first time to follow a life long dream – to earn her Bachelors in Fine Arts. We will be celebrating her graduation next month. What is stopping you from living the life you dream of?

Remember, words have power – chose the right ones.

Popularity: 11% [?]

by Judith Auslander, MA, CLC

Wise Heart Coaching

It’s the “Holidays” again, which can either bring joy or a feeling of too-much-to-do-with-too-little-time.  So, here are some tips to help make the holidays a little more stress free for you.  Remember to check out my important life saving tip and gift giving ideas at the bottom.

Tip One

De-clutter your life at least once a week for maybe about one hour.  Get rid of the things that are lying around not being used.  Go through the mass of papers that seem to multiply. Donate old clothing.   Let go of stuff!

Tip Two

Realize that everything you bring into your life requires care and feeding. Think of this when you contemplate buying something new for yourself or someone else. Ask yourself, “Do I really need this? “Does he or she really need this?”  If you don’t get an absolute yes or no, then let it rest a couple of days.  If you still believe the item is necessary then by all means, purchase the item. But remember, if it is gone, you must be ready to say, “Oh well, that’s just the way it was suppose to be.”

Tip Three

Practice appreciation.  Tell someone 3 things you appreciate about him/her; tell the clerk at the post office and the grocery store that you appreciate them. They will probably thank you with a smile, which will brighten your day as well. Think in an appreciative voice, talk in an appreciative voice, be in appreciation.

Tip Four

With times being what they are, this would be a great time to give gifts that are more intangible. Some ideas might be: a gift certificate for an overnight trip, 3 hours of gardening, or time spent doing something the recipient would enjoy. This will keep the stress out of shopping for just the right gift. It will also relieve the stress of the mall-shopping madhouse. Remember, it is not the cost of the gift, but the thought behind it.  The value is in the thoughtfulness, love, and care put into it. See below for some gift making ideas.

Tip Five

Before you start eating those big holiday meals, begin it with appreciation of where the food came from.  Before overeating, pay attention to that moment when your body has had exactly enough. This avoids the bellyache and guilt of eating too much. Chew slowly appreciating the flavors. Put your fork down between each bite to avoid stuffing your mouth. Thank the chef (even if it is you) for the time it took to prepare the meal.

Tip Six

Go through your checkbook and your credit card bills. Bring your accounts up to date. Be more conscious of what you use, consume, spend. Contribute money to things you believe in and truly care about.

Tip Seven

Change your talk to that of sufficiency. See yourself as having enough. Talk as if you have enough. Shift any conversation from scarcity to sufficiency.  Remember there is plenty of everything love, money, possessions, anything and everything you need or desire. Appreciate what you have and if you want more, ask spirit for it.  Ask, Believe, and allow yourself to Receive.

Tip Eight

Above all, enjoy the holidays.  They are a time of family, friends, and appreciation. If you live alone, find a place where you can volunteer your time or invite others who do not have family to your home to celebrate. Be in a place of abundance and gratitude.

Shalom (blessings),

Judith Auslander, Wise Heart Coaching

Important Tip!

Protect yourself and your family by ICING your cell phone.

Add ICE (In Case of Emergency) to your cell phone.  Emergency crews know to look at cell phones for ICE numbers.

Gift Making Ideas:

• Gift Coupon Book that you made yourself.  Include things like Foot Massage, Manicure, Babysitting, Shopping Date, Homemade Dinner of choice, etc.
• It’s your Day – give the gift of a special day.
• Take an old puzzle and decoupage it with old photos, memorabilia, collage items, etc. You could then carefully cut the pieces apart and make a whole new puzzle which relates to the person.
• An alternative to the idea above was recently sent to me. Have everyone in the family take a puzzle piece or pieces and decorate it with love or appreciation or something important to him or her about the family then put the puzzle back together and you have a permanent family reminder of what the family means to each member.
• There are lots of great websites for gift making ideas you don’t have to be a professional or even artistic to find something that you can do.

I would love to hear from you.  Please send me a note letting me know what you thought of these ideas.  Also, please feel free to forward it to friends and loved ones – or invite them to sign up for my free newsletter at Wise Hearth Coaching 

In appreciation,

Judith

Popularity: 20% [?]

by Judith Auslander, MA, CLC

Wise Heart Coaching

Back in the January/February AARP Magazine, I read an article titled Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda. The article was about midlife crisis and coming to terms with the roads we have or haven’t taken in life. The article started with the focus on “What If?” No matter which of the numberless multitude of options available to each of us, whichever one we end up taking, there will always be, What If? And along with What If?, there is Regret. Regret can be painful, but it is mostly the raw feeling of missed future possibilities that we find the most agonizing. Regret can also be seen as the motivator for change. Without regret we might never move or change jobs or end a bad marriage. My father would often laminate his regrets over not going into business for himself. But the thing is, he did consider it many, many times and each time realized that the decision could very well have a negative financial impact on his family and their welfare. His decision was to take the “safer” road.

Like my Dad, we make decisions based on looking at as many options as possible, weighing the pros and the cons along with imagined events. No matter which path we choose, there will more than likely be some kind of regret. Did we miss a financial opportunity when it was available? Did we miss a chance at love, family, home? While normal regret teaches us where we might do better next time, high regret can be devastating and crippling and can lead to numerous maladies. Dwelling on the past mistakes and missed opportunities can consume our enjoyment of living in the present.

The other question we need to ask ourselves is am I making choices based on fear. Fear can be a tremendous limiter. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change – the list is endless. My father’s fear of financial failure was what stopped him from moving from being an employee to an employer.

Henry David Thoreau counseled “To regret deeply is to live afresh.” To me this means that with each regret I grow, change, and learn new skills of coping. I have a choice to become a victim or take back my power. The first step in taking back my power is to accept that the decision was mine and mine alone. I choose to “live afresh.” Then move on. Once the decision has been made – move on. To agonize over it is to limit growth possibilities because we remain in the past.

We also live in a time of too many choices. Look down the cereal aisle at your local grocery store. Since I was a child back in the 50’s cereal choices have exploded. When I returned from spending 5 years in El Salvador I was lost in the toothpaste aisle. Too many choices can be a blessing and a curse. When you have a choice between A, B or C – it is much easier to narrow down which one will work best for you. But when your choices are A – Z, it creates making a decision – a clear decision you can be happy with – much more difficult.

It is mostly between the ages of 40 and 65 they we go through a period of reflection and reevaluation. When we were younger a missed opportunity was not the end of everything – there was still time to climb a mountain, go to school, fly a plane, be a brain surgeon. But by your 50’s, you come to realize that there are things that you will never be able to do – it is just too late. This loss of opportunity, of time, can be devastating. Or it can be a time of letting go. If we hang onto the regrets of missed times – we miss the times that are sitting there right in front of us to be enjoyed and lived.

What did the article point out as the “hit parade” of regrets? In order they were:

• Education – not attending college or grad school
• Career – lack of success in their chosen field or wish they had picked a completely different career
• Romance – long lost loves, unrequited affections, ill-advised affairs, marriage gone bad, or never finding that special someone
• Family – doubts about parenting, not having children, family friction and estrangement
• The Self – disappointment in abilities, attitudes and behaviors

So, what can I do to help achieve what I want out of life? My immediate response is goal setting. A goal is the first step toward eliminating the possibility of a lost future. Next it is important to know who I am and what I really want from life. It is important to make sure that the goals you chose are yours – not someone else’s. In the end the only one you will have to look in the eye and answer to will be yourself – so make sure the goals you choose are in alignment with your values. Authenticity is of key importance when setting goals.

The next important question to ask when creating your goal or goals is, “Will it bring me joy?” Life is too short to not live it with joy. A goal is best when it brings a feeling of accomplishment as well as inner peace.

There are many tools to creating, writing and fulfilling your goals. Be sure you know the steps so that you experience success.

Judith Auslander is the author of, “The Power of Goal Setting-Transforming Thoughts Into Action!” available as an ebook from www.WiseHeartCoaching.com

A goal can be the key that starts the engine of your future.

Judith Auslander

Popularity: 21% [?]