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Stop Limiting Yourself!
By Judith Auslander
Wise Heart Coaching (http://www.WiseHeartCoaching.com)

This is a message I recently received from The Universe:

“You needn’t worry. There is time. You have all the time in the world. You preceded time and you will exist beyond it. Age is irrelevant; more meaningless than a number. Forever, Judith, you have FOREVER. There is no dream you now have
that you will not manifest. There is no challenge you now face that you will not crush and dispose of. There is no point in spending one more second of your awesome, amazing life, thinking anything to the contrary. Olé, The Universe”

If you haven’t heard of The Universe, it is an online service in which you will receive an inspirational message each day. (It can be reached at http://www.tut.com/)

Why have I thought it is important to share this message? Simple! We allow age to stop us from living life every day to its fullest. I want you to take a second and think how many times you stop yourself from doing something because you say, “I am too old for that!” How limiting!

I believe that there are certain words that must be eliminated from our vocabulary – and the sentence “I am too old!” must be eliminated. It is as if you cut off your legs and try to walk. Why do we do that to ourselves? Who told us we were “too old?” That person must be eliminated from our lives – they are not our friend.

What do you “wish” you could do? What would you do if age were not relevant? Would you go back to school? Would you learn to fly an airplane? Would you travel Europe using Hostels instead of hotels? Would you start your own business?

How do you limit yourself? Are there ways you can do the things you want to do in life? Be creative – you are never too old until you decide you are too old.

What if we live to 105 – then mid life is just 57! My cousin was 65 when she went to school for the first time to follow a life long dream – to earn her Bachelors in Fine Arts. We will be celebrating her graduation next month. What is stopping you from living the life you dream of?

Remember, words have power - chose the right ones.

by Judith Auslander, MA, CLC

Wise Heart Coaching

It’s the “Holidays” again, which can either bring joy or a feeling of too-much-to-do-with-too-little-time.  So, here are some tips to help make the holidays a little more stress free for you.  Remember to check out my important life saving tip and gift giving ideas at the bottom.

Tip One

De-clutter your life at least once a week for maybe about one hour.  Get rid of the things that are lying around not being used.  Go through the mass of papers that seem to multiply. Donate old clothing.   Let go of stuff!

Tip Two

Realize that everything you bring into your life requires care and feeding. Think of this when you contemplate buying something new for yourself or someone else. Ask yourself, “Do I really need this? “Does he or she really need this?”  If you don’t get an absolute yes or no, then let it rest a couple of days.  If you still believe the item is necessary then by all means, purchase the item. But remember, if it is gone, you must be ready to say, “Oh well, that’s just the way it was suppose to be.”

Tip Three

Practice appreciation.  Tell someone 3 things you appreciate about him/her; tell the clerk at the post office and the grocery store that you appreciate them. They will probably thank you with a smile, which will brighten your day as well. Think in an appreciative voice, talk in an appreciative voice, be in appreciation.

Tip Four

With times being what they are, this would be a great time to give gifts that are more intangible. Some ideas might be: a gift certificate for an overnight trip, 3 hours of gardening, or time spent doing something the recipient would enjoy. This will keep the stress out of shopping for just the right gift. It will also relieve the stress of the mall-shopping madhouse. Remember, it is not the cost of the gift, but the thought behind it.  The value is in the thoughtfulness, love, and care put into it. See below for some gift making ideas.

Tip Five

Before you start eating those big holiday meals, begin it with appreciation of where the food came from.  Before overeating, pay attention to that moment when your body has had exactly enough. This avoids the bellyache and guilt of eating too much. Chew slowly appreciating the flavors. Put your fork down between each bite to avoid stuffing your mouth. Thank the chef (even if it is you) for the time it took to prepare the meal.

Tip Six

Go through your checkbook and your credit card bills. Bring your accounts up to date. Be more conscious of what you use, consume, spend. Contribute money to things you believe in and truly care about.

Tip Seven

Change your talk to that of sufficiency. See yourself as having enough. Talk as if you have enough. Shift any conversation from scarcity to sufficiency.  Remember there is plenty of everything love, money, possessions, anything and everything you need or desire. Appreciate what you have and if you want more, ask spirit for it.  Ask, Believe, and allow yourself to Receive.

Tip Eight

Above all, enjoy the holidays.  They are a time of family, friends, and appreciation. If you live alone, find a place where you can volunteer your time or invite others who do not have family to your home to celebrate. Be in a place of abundance and gratitude.

Shalom (blessings),

Judith Auslander, Wise Heart Coaching

Important Tip!

Protect yourself and your family by ICING your cell phone.

Add ICE (In Case of Emergency) to your cell phone.  Emergency crews know to look at cell phones for ICE numbers.

Gift Making Ideas:

• Gift Coupon Book that you made yourself.  Include things like Foot Massage, Manicure, Babysitting, Shopping Date, Homemade Dinner of choice, etc.
• It’s your Day - give the gift of a special day.
• Take an old puzzle and decoupage it with old photos, memorabilia, collage items, etc. You could then carefully cut the pieces apart and make a whole new puzzle which relates to the person.
• An alternative to the idea above was recently sent to me. Have everyone in the family take a puzzle piece or pieces and decorate it with love or appreciation or something important to him or her about the family then put the puzzle back together and you have a permanent family reminder of what the family means to each member.
• There are lots of great websites for gift making ideas you don’t have to be a professional or even artistic to find something that you can do.

I would love to hear from you.  Please send me a note letting me know what you thought of these ideas.  Also, please feel free to forward it to friends and loved ones - or invite them to sign up for my free newsletter at Wise Hearth Coaching 

In appreciation,

Judith

by Judith Auslander, MA, CLC

Wise Heart Coaching

Back in the January/February AARP Magazine, I read an article titled Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda. The article was about midlife crisis and coming to terms with the roads we have or haven’t taken in life. The article started with the focus on “What If?” No matter which of the numberless multitude of options available to each of us, whichever one we end up taking, there will always be, What If? And along with What If?, there is Regret. Regret can be painful, but it is mostly the raw feeling of missed future possibilities that we find the most agonizing. Regret can also be seen as the motivator for change. Without regret we might never move or change jobs or end a bad marriage. My father would often laminate his regrets over not going into business for himself. But the thing is, he did consider it many, many times and each time realized that the decision could very well have a negative financial impact on his family and their welfare. His decision was to take the “safer” road.

Like my Dad, we make decisions based on looking at as many options as possible, weighing the pros and the cons along with imagined events. No matter which path we choose, there will more than likely be some kind of regret. Did we miss a financial opportunity when it was available? Did we miss a chance at love, family, home? While normal regret teaches us where we might do better next time, high regret can be devastating and crippling and can lead to numerous maladies. Dwelling on the past mistakes and missed opportunities can consume our enjoyment of living in the present.

The other question we need to ask ourselves is am I making choices based on fear. Fear can be a tremendous limiter. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change – the list is endless. My father’s fear of financial failure was what stopped him from moving from being an employee to an employer.

Henry David Thoreau counseled “To regret deeply is to live afresh.” To me this means that with each regret I grow, change, and learn new skills of coping. I have a choice to become a victim or take back my power. The first step in taking back my power is to accept that the decision was mine and mine alone. I choose to “live afresh.” Then move on. Once the decision has been made – move on. To agonize over it is to limit growth possibilities because we remain in the past.

We also live in a time of too many choices. Look down the cereal aisle at your local grocery store. Since I was a child back in the 50’s cereal choices have exploded. When I returned from spending 5 years in El Salvador I was lost in the toothpaste aisle. Too many choices can be a blessing and a curse. When you have a choice between A, B or C – it is much easier to narrow down which one will work best for you. But when your choices are A – Z, it creates making a decision – a clear decision you can be happy with – much more difficult.

It is mostly between the ages of 40 and 65 they we go through a period of reflection and reevaluation. When we were younger a missed opportunity was not the end of everything – there was still time to climb a mountain, go to school, fly a plane, be a brain surgeon. But by your 50’s, you come to realize that there are things that you will never be able to do – it is just too late. This loss of opportunity, of time, can be devastating. Or it can be a time of letting go. If we hang onto the regrets of missed times – we miss the times that are sitting there right in front of us to be enjoyed and lived.

What did the article point out as the “hit parade” of regrets? In order they were:

• Education – not attending college or grad school
• Career – lack of success in their chosen field or wish they had picked a completely different career
• Romance – long lost loves, unrequited affections, ill-advised affairs, marriage gone bad, or never finding that special someone
• Family – doubts about parenting, not having children, family friction and estrangement
• The Self – disappointment in abilities, attitudes and behaviors

So, what can I do to help achieve what I want out of life? My immediate response is goal setting. A goal is the first step toward eliminating the possibility of a lost future. Next it is important to know who I am and what I really want from life. It is important to make sure that the goals you chose are yours – not someone else’s. In the end the only one you will have to look in the eye and answer to will be yourself – so make sure the goals you choose are in alignment with your values. Authenticity is of key importance when setting goals.

The next important question to ask when creating your goal or goals is, “Will it bring me joy?” Life is too short to not live it with joy. A goal is best when it brings a feeling of accomplishment as well as inner peace.

There are many tools to creating, writing and fulfilling your goals. Be sure you know the steps so that you experience success.

Judith Auslander is the author of, “The Power of Goal Setting-Transforming Thoughts Into Action!” available as an ebook from www.WiseHeartCoaching.com

A goal can be the key that starts the engine of your future.

Judith Auslander

by Judith Auslander, Life Coach of the Wise Heart Coaching fame

Last post we talked about how to create atmosphere in the bedroom.  In this final post on the series, we will continue this with some great ideas I found on the Internet.  Are you ready to create romance?

• Paint or wallpaper your walls an exciting color – walls do not have to be eggshell white.
• Find some provocative fun paintings for your room.  According to The Secret movie, if you want a mate, surround yourself with art of two people together – best if they are kissing or facing each other.
• Get rid of the old, dusty blinds and replace them with lacy panels
• Add candles, softer lights, bedside lamps, for that dimmed light look.
• If your mattress is old and sunk in – invest in a new one – your back will hurt a lot less.  And king size it!
• Add flowers and plants such as ferns. 
• Add pillows that can be used for fun as well as decoration.

Trust me when I tell you that if you want to create romance, make sure the atmosphere is romantic.  The bedroom ought to be a sacred spot where you go to rekindle romance and to rest your head. 

Now, for that special night, here are some tips!

• Take a bath in oils so that you smell great and your skin is soft and slippery
• Avoid perfumes as they often cause sneezing or plugged sinuses – unless you happen to know your lover is into your perfume.
• Wear something that makes you feel sexy – feeling sexy is an important part of romance – and make sure it is easy for your lover to take off.  This may be a good time for the Passionate Purple Panties!
•  Make it fun – have flower petals spread up to the bedroom and into the bed.
• Have some fun finger food and drink (personally I would avoid alcohol as it often causes sleepiness).
• Play some soft music
• Have fun! 

Now, you may be thinking – “Why do I need to do all of this?  Isn’t this more like what they do in the movies – real people don’t do this.”  Well, my suggestion is to try it.  There is nothing to say that your life can’t be like the movies.  See if adding atmosphere does not add to your romance.  It sure can’t hurt!

This is the last in the series.  Please let me know if you enjoyed it, learned from it, want more.

Other posts in this series: 

• Part 1: Passionate Purple Panties (PPPs)
• Part 2: Sexy at 64
• Part 3: Bring on the Romance!!!
• Part 4: Pina Caladas?
• Part 5: Sex and the Senior Citizen
• Part 6: The Love Nest

by Judith Auslander, Life Coach of the Wise Heart Coaching fame 

In the last post we talked about sex and the senior citizen.  This issue we will talk about your Love Nest.  This will be a two part series. 

Now, this issue is for everyone.  It doesn’t matter if you are in your 20’s or 90’s, you want to have romance, then you want a romantic room.  A couple that I am friends with decided to make their room more “sexy.”  They were in their 30’s and had been married for about 10 years and wanted to add some spice.  So, they went shopping for paint and ended up with a passionate Peptol Bismol bedroom.  Funny it didn’t make them feel sexy at all.  They painted over it.  But they had the right idea – you want to create atmosphere. 

So, how does your room look?  Do you have the treadmill in one corner covered in clothes, the TV on a stand with lots of videos around it, and then of course there is the pile of old newspapers and books to read?  No, no, no – this is not a bedroom; it is a dumping ground for useless material.  A sexy bedroom does not have any of these things. 

Let’s clean it up!

If you Google “sexy bedrooms” you will find they have chandeliers, candles, beautiful fabrics, canopies, flowers or plants, pillows, a touch of elegance, mirrors, settees and chairs.  If they must have a TV – it is placed as a piece of art in the room – not on an old stand or on top of the dresser.  I suggest that you check out sites on sexy bedrooms and see what you can do to enhance yours. 

Final Topic on this series this Friday:  How to spruce up your love nest?

Other posts in this series:

• Part 1: Passionate Purple Panties (PPPs)
• Part 2: Sexy at 64
• Part 3: Bring on the Romance!!!
• Part 4: Pina Caladas?
• Part 5: Sex and the Senior Citizen